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ever notice that the mean voice in ur head that insults u is awful confident for something thats literally never done anything in its life except be mean to you… like… one of us is pathetic and its not me buddy… get a hobby… yikes
self care is roasting the mean voice in your head
(via infini-tree)
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Hello, I am trying to locate the letter where Walking Disaster Aaron Burr rambles at length about setting himself on fire whilst attempting to light a candle with a gun, can anyone point me in the right direction
Found it!
“I did go to bed at 10, promising myself a rich sleep. Lay two hours vigil; that cursed one single dish of tea! Note: My bed had undergone a thorough ablution and there were no bugs or insects. Got up and attempted to light candle, but in vain; had flint and matches but only some shreds of punk which would not catch. Recollected a gun which I had on my late journey; filled the pan with powder and was just going to flash it when it occurred that though I had not loaded it someone else might; tried and found in it a very heavy charge! What a fine alarm it would have made if I had fired! Then poured out some powder on a piece of paper, put the shreds of punk with it and after fifty essays succeeded in firing the powder ; but it being dark, had put more powder than intended; my shirt caught fire, the papers on my table caught fire, burnt my fingers to a blister (the left hand, fortunately); it seemed like a general conflagration. Succeeded, however, in lighting my candle and passed the night till 5 this morning in smoking, reading, and writing this.“
This man was 53 years old with the preservation instincts and caffeine tolerance of an infant with ADD
Who … what sort of person thinks a GUN is a sensible thing with which to light a candle? How, as this much of a disaster, does one survive 53 years???
(via eggcats)
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i hate pokemon
girl what
Thank you for providing the worst thing I’ve read in years. It’s a gift actually
(via b1gsh0t1997)
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caramelize your gender. transgenderize your onions. do it.
May I respectfully ask what the hell this means?😭
whats not clicking. you put your gender in the pan with some olive oil and garlic and spices and sautee the bitch.
(via b1gsh0t1997)
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truscum will tell you being trans is living in pain and they’re wrong. being trans is about being really cool and funny and hot
(via b1gsh0t1997)
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nothing sexier than that picture with the italian players on top of eachother after the win and the english ones going through the 5 stages of grief in the back
THIS ONE
i can see it
This destroyed me.
(via mad-dyspunktional)
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cosmetic surgery is yassifed taxidermy for alive things
(via b1gsh0t1997)
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what do i focus on here
try focusing on making you life and the lives of your loved ones better each and every day
(via misssnicket)
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Whenever Americans use Cryillic like. That. I just. Instantly shrivel up an cry
Like idk how to tell you this but н isnt h and и isnt n
It’s true and you should say it.
Я isnt R
Р isnt P
В isnt B
If you want to explain, what does it mean then? 0.0
н makes n sound,и makes ee sound, я makes ya sound, р makes r sound, в makes v sound
you mean, like, ня?
oh no. It can be made with Cyrillic now
ня
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE EXPLAINED
НЯ
НЯ
OH. GOD.
THATS SO FUNNY
(via applejuicewerewolf)
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I redid this older comic I made for my storytelling class based on this post. Have some cute wlw love in your day.
It’s hard, if I had more free time I could make it so pretty, this is what I could throw together for the assignment.
(via mad-dyspunktional)